Princess Buttercup: You mock my pain!
Man in Black: Life is pain, Highness! Anyone who says differently is selling something.
– From The Princess Bride
There’s a lot of mileage on the old tire “there are no guarantees in life,” even though it’s not true. There is one: you don’t get out of it alive (taxes were once considered another certainty, but that seems to vary nowadays by how much the party in office likes your income bracket).