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11 Signs You're Single in San Francisco

San Francisco Couples
by Hana Nobel Sep 27, 2016

1. You use Uber Pool and Lyft Line to meet a potential partner.

It’s cheaper, yes, but the carpool rideshare option also leaves room (literal room-3 seats!) for potential love interests. Consider it a speed dating opportunity without the pressure. If things work out, you can re-arrange your plans and get out together, or at least exchange numbers. And if not, you’ll still get a ride to your destination for under five bucks.

2. Postmates knows to bring only one set of cutlery.

After the last three visits of bringing two sets of chopsticks for your takeout and you weeping that you only need one, all delivery services have put in their notes to deliver just one set of silverware to your apartment door.

3. You’ve drank too many pina coladas while attending a bachelorette party at the Tonga Room.

The basement-turned tiki bar in the Fairmont hotel is a great celebration spot for the single girl’s last hurrah. It’s also a great place for the still-single girl to drown lonely sorrows in Mai Tai’s, scorpion bowls, a pupu platter. Luckily the Tonga Room’s fake thunderstom can wash away your sadness every 15 minutes and the mai tais can do that even faster.

4. Your past five dates have been “CEOs” of startups.

You’re not sure if you’re dating or hosting Shark Tank. Every time you go on a date you have to listen to someone’s elevator pitch about their next startup. Any yes, they’re the CEO, but their company doesn’t have funding yet…so drinks aren’t on them.

5. You’re turning off Tinder and joining the rest of the city at Burning Man.

SOMEONE on the playa will date you for a week…right? Plus most people you see on your dating apps will be there IRL anyway. Everyone in SF says if you can’t get laid at Burning Man you can’t get laid anywhere. So shoved between your goggles and dusk mask you’ve shoved some breath mints and sexy lingerie.

6. You know all the most romantic views so you’re ready for a date at any time.

From Twin Peaks to Dolores Park to Bernal Heights, you’ve got a mental map of high altitude make out spots to watch the sunset while sucking face. All you need is someone to join you….

7. Your Instacart “Buy It Again?” recommendations scream “SINGLE GIRL ALERT”.

The site’s very good memory prompts you to re-order frequent favorites… including ice cream, cookie dough, and a box of condoms..which you don’t need again since it’s still sealed shut, thank you very much.

8. You’ve swiped right on Google employees just to get a tour of the office and a chance to ride the rainbow bikes.

Since everyone in the city works for Google, it’s not that hard. One of these days the effort will pay off and you and your new love with ride off into the tech-savvy sunset on primary-colored bicycles.

9. You’ve joined a competitive sports team to meet a partner.

Do you love kickball? Not really. But the person you want to date might. So every Tuesday you tie up your sneakers and head toward Crissy Field with high hopes.

10. You’ve accidentally been to a sex party that you thought was a singles party.

The hippie-liberal vibe of San Francisco makes it a great place to meet people at social events, but sometimes those events involve whips and chains. If the Folsom Street fair is your scene-great. If it’s not, double check that this is clothing mandatory event before entering the roomy loft.

11. You went to adult summer camp to make out under the stars.

The last time you snuck out to kiss a boy was when you were 16 at summer camp. Luckily, Silicon Valley loves embracing their inner child and heading to adult summer camp for the weekend, which is a great opportunity to kiss in a lake and share a sleeping bag and a s’more.

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