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43 Things You'll Never Hear Someone From Edinburgh Say

Edinburgh Student Work
by Damien Bannock Jul 29, 2015

1. I got a tram here.

2. Salt and vinegar please.

3. You have Scottish ancestry?! That’s fascinating! Let me get a pen; I don’t want to miss any of this.

4. 17 degrees? Probably too cold for a barbecue. I think I’ll keep my top on too.

5. I bought this in Princes Mall.

6. I don’t know anyone who works at Standard Life.

7. Nope, definitely never tried to feed pennies to the fish at the museum.

8. Of course I’ll come to your one-man comedy puppetry retelling of Schindler’s List!

9. I met the love of my life at City.

10. Can’t wait for the Wetherspoon’s on Lothian Road to open.

11. I went back to the Commonwealth flumes after I heard that rumour about the razorblades.

12. I never tried to lick the iceberg at Dynamic Earth.

13. Please, tourists, move slower. I’ll wait.

14. I love how all the new architecture is of such high quality and so sensitive to its surroundings.

15. The parliament building? Really, I don’t have an opinion about it.

16. Let’s not go to the pub tonight.

17. What’s The Hive?

18. I can’t wait until I save up enough money to buy a flat in Platinum Point.

19. These sudden gusts of wind are so refreshing. My umbrella works better this way round anyway.

20. The sun’s out, but let’s not go to The Meadows. What’s the point, right?

21. (During the festival) Hang on, I know a shortcut, it’s just down the High Street.

22. I love the George Street clubs because of their welcoming ambiance.

23. It’s a bit early for a drink.

24. What this city needs is more festivals.

25. My favourite band are playing tonight.

26. Climb Arthur’s Seat at 4am? What a stupid idea.

27. I definitely don’t regret going to The Hive last night.

28. It’s Carlton Hill.

29. Potterrow is the place to be.

30. I hate fireworks.

31. I hate The Proclaimers.

32. That extinct volcano in the city centre is such an eyesore.

33. Let’s not bother celebrating Hogmanay / Christmas / Fireworks night / Spring Equinox / Summer Solstice / any made-up occasion this year. We’ll just have a quiet one.

34. Aren’t Glaswegians friendly?

35. Princes Street is my favourite place to shop.

36. I have no idea the exact percentage by which the population of Edinburgh changes every August.

37. I love September.

38. Tell me again how everything looks like Harry Potter.

39. Thank you for succinctly explaining your precise location in The Meadows.

40. This is extremely good value for a pint of Foster’s in a plastic cup.

41. What tune is that piper playing? Oh, never heard that one before…

42. We’d better get into the comedy gig early so we can sit down the front.

43. I visit the castle all the time!

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