Photo: Alinute Silzeviciute/Shutterstock

Now There’s a Facebook Event for Storming Loch Ness to Find Nessie

by Eben Diskin Jul 22, 2019

As if the planned storming of Area 51 earlier this month wasn’t boneheaded enough, now people want to organize a massive search for the Loch Ness Monster in Scotland. About 38,000 people have responded to a Facebook event called “Storm Loch Ness,” slated to take place on September 21. But while the US Air Force could simply threaten force against the Area 51 truthers, Loch Ness authorities don’t exactly have the same resources to handle an ill-advised mass “storming.”

The Loch Ness Royal National Lifeboat Institution (RNLI), however, is concerned for the safety of these wannabe monster hunters, warning of deep water and potentially hazardous conditions.

According to one spokeswoman, “With no US Army involved, Loch Ness looks a little less hazardous than storming Area 51, but here we have our own set of problems. Our Atlantic 85 lifeboat has an impressive survivor-carrying capacity, but even that will be stretched by the ‘attendees’ of this event.”

Indeed, even without the US Army preventing an incursion, this campaign might actually be even more hazardous. Loch Ness is incredibly deep, with wave heights reaching 13 feet. And since the lake is freshwater, it’s more difficult to float if someone accidentally ends up in the water.

To anyone considering attending this event — you’d have better luck finding aliens than Nessie. Do everyone a favor and stay away.


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