Photo: Valerie Hinojosas
Thou shalt drink no tea other than sweet tea.
What kind of crazy person would not prefer sweet tea? Are you a dentist obsessed with getting cavities from all the sugar? In that case, just don’t drink tea at all! There’s honestly no excuse.
Thou shalt treat snow days as the Apocalypse.
I’m sorry, I don’t make the rules. In the south, if there is snow on the ground (or even the threat of snow), you better rush to your grocery store fast before all the milk and bread is gone. Maybe you should buy five loaves. You know, just to be safe.
Thou shalt never utter the words “you guys.”
It’s not you guys, it’s y’all or all y’alls.
Thou shalt cherish southern food.
Biscuits and gravy, southern fried steak, grits, all of the ‘salads’ (e.g. potato salad, chicken salad, egg salad), barbecue, and every other southern food deserves delicious respect. If you learned to eat in the South you know a big part of southern culture is our food.
Thou shalt only crave Chick-fil-a on Sunday.
It only makes sense to crave Chick-fil-a on Sunday because they’re closed, right? Well, whether it makes sense or not, it’s a must-do if you want to truly fit in with southern culture.
Thou shalt always have proper southern manners.
You say “please ma’am” and “thank you sir.” You hold the door open for everyone, especially the elderly. You help carry grocery bags to the car of anyone who needs you. Of course, you say hello to people at the grocery store, even if you might not know them. These are non-negotiable in the south.
Thou shalt not insult southern music.
We’ve created some of the best music genres the world has ever heard. We’ve got blues, rock and roll, country, bluegrass, and more. Southerners are serious about their music.
Thou shalt recognize Sunday as a holy day.
Of course, Sunday is for church, but that’s not the only reason it’s holy. Sunday is football day! Our days go like this: church in the morning followed by brunch out with the family and later relaxing in front of the tv with some beer and the big game.
Thou shalt appreciate the great outdoors.
You can’t be in the south and not like fishing, hiking, and catching fireflies in your backyard. Whether it’s exploring a new swimming hole or going camping, us southerners are the outdoorsy type.
Thou shalt monogram everything.
Wallets, hats, shirts, underwear: I mean everything!